Toad. Is not a bad word. Does not live in North Carolina. What? It should be totally clear now.
You have no idea how much I wish I were actually writing a post about a square-dancing Jewish Big-Foot, seriously, how awesome would that be?!?
Well. I suppose Mr Foot might be Jewish, but we don't really know. And he's certainly not square-dancing. So really, what fun is this stupid post anyway???
I JUST DON'T KNOW.
You people are very demanding.
Ok. So a few weeks ago I told you that Josh was square-dancing in PE at school, right? Yes I did. I also promised pictures if they got any. Well, they showed up today in Toad's planner from school and now, for your amusement and so that you can see how frighteningly accurate my description of him was in that post, here they are:
He was actually with a group of typical students, but I had to crop them out since posting pics of other people's kids on the internet without permission isn't cool. But they were there. You're just going to have to trust me on this. Could those shorts be any baggier? And I have been wondering what happens to the objects he takes in to school with him (he brings them from home, in the car, and insists on keeping them when he goes in to school... ) in the morning, apparently, he just keeps them in his hand all day. Pretty much like he does at home. So this really isn't a surprise.
Nice Uggs my little Toadie.
Now tucked in with the square-dancing with the stars pics, was this little treat:
This is my muffin sitting so nicely at his desk! This was taken yesterday.
So, now you've seen Toadie at school.
Now how exactly, does this have anything to do with a Jewish Big-Foot? It doesn't.
But here's a question - when did "Jewish" become a bad word???
Yesterday morning when I was at the grocery store, I bought some chocolate coins that I'd found in the store's Easter section. I actually need them as a prop for Zach's school play. Which has nothing to do with Easter. As I was checking out, the lady at the register commented on how much she and her kids loved them. I mentioned that I had been glad to find them because of what I needed them for. Check-out lady started to try to tell me that the store actually carries them all year round, but normally they are in the .... this is where she faltered. I knew perfectly well that she wanted to say "Jewish food" section. But she couldn't/wouldn't say it. It was very weird, like she thought it was a word she shouldn't be saying. She wouldn't look me in the eye. She choked for a couple of minutes over this. She simply could not bring herself to say it. SO STRANGE. So she finally told me they have them all the time in the same section where they sell all the "Manischewitz" items. Lol, REALLY? This is how she explained it to me? Since when is "Jewish" a bad word?!? Why couldn't she say it? I'm sure she could have told me that I could always find soy sauce in the Asian food section, so why was this such a big deal? It was completely bizarre. I kind of couldn't stop staring at her because she was truly flustered over this and for the life of me I couldn't understand why. I suppose my staring at her didn't help. But seriously, it's 2011. You can't say Jewish without practically having a break-down?
I worry about people.
You totally thought Big-Foot was going to show up in that story didn't you?
Well, he didn't. But if he had I'm sure he would have thought she was crazy too.
I feel compelled to mention that that guy who claimed he saw Big-Foot in North Carolina last week or whenever that was? Liar. Big fat hairy liar (see what I did there?). How do I know? Because Big-Foot DOES NOT LIVE IN NORTH CAROLINA. Unless he migrates south-east. Which he doesn't. Because that would be, well, stupid. And I'm pretty sure we'd have noticed herds of Sasquatch cruising across the continent at some point. Big-foot lives in the Pacific Northwest. Everyone knows this. Leonard Nimoy knows this, he did an entire tv show about it in 1977. I know this. I watched that show. In Search Of - Big-Foot. I lived in a house in the woods in BC. I walked to school terrified of the damned thing for 8 years. My friends and I were convinced we'd found his tracks in the snow near our school. I used to have nightmares about him that left me unable to move and barely breathing for fear he'd find me... true. story. I know Big-Foot. And he doesn't live in North freaking Carolina. I also watched In Search Of - The Loch Ness Monster and In Search of - The Abominable Snow Man, so don't be trying to tell me you saw Nessie in Lake Michigan or a Yeti in Aspen.
Mr Spock wouldn't lie.
All I can tell you is that all 3 of these things were on my mind for whatever reason. So then this happened. I can't promise it won't happen again.